Belief

I lie on my back and feel the tears drip down my face and into my hair cooling there and dampening my hair. I wait and wait and the tears continue to fall, they run down and around and into my ears but my hands are not free to wipe them away. I look up to where I know my hands are but I cannot see them. They are cold and clammy and still I wait, the tears pooling in my ears cutting off that sense too.

I try to listen for a sound and shift where I lie but my ties do not allow it. The tears still fall as I try to move my head and tip them from my ears. I wait and begin to float losing all sense of time. No sight and now no sound, just my heart beating slowing and the sound of my breath slowing and slowing. I think of my behaviour earlier and I know that I needed this.

I can never just be quiet I have to always ask again and again. I never believe words I am told and now I am being made to stop and listen and breathe and stop talking. Now I lie spread eagled tied down, gagged, blindfold and even my own body is betraying me by cutting off my hearing with my tears.

Then you are there and untying me, and I am in your arms, and the sobs have started and you are holding me as you undo the gag. I say nothing I have learned quiet today, but I sob and lie in your arms enveloped by you, as you yet again prove to me how wrong I am about everything.

You hold me until I stop, then wrap me up in a blanket and lay me down and leave me again. This time I sleep, until I wake to find you watching me, a look of lust upon your face. The look I love the best, it's the look I see so well, and understand as I crawl towards you over the bed. I unzip your trousers and slip my hand in all the while watching your face for signs of displeasure.

You close your eyes and sigh, and I smile that for once today I am getting it right. As I pull your trousers down you stand and come over to the bed and lie down where I begin to kiss and nibble very part of your skin up from your ankles to your cunt. As you sigh with each kiss I know that I love you, and I would spend eternity kissing you all over. Or anything you wanted to. As I kiss you and suckle you, and you cum in my mouth I remember all my childish behaviour earlier, and I feel so silly and the tears begin again.

As you see me crying you lift me to you and bend me over your knee, sitting up all at the same time as your hand comes down hard on my backside. As you spank me I cry harder but this time with relief. This time I feel good about the crying, as you hit harder and harder. This is what I want and need, and now I believe everything you've said truly, deep down.